


My Own Dark Knight

by emmyak96



Category: Arkham Knight - Fandom, Batman - Fandom, Batman: Arkham (Video Games)
Genre: F/M, Flashback, Language, Not really graphic but better safe than sorry, POV First Person, Past Torture, Some direct quotes, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-10-09 07:40:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10407177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmyak96/pseuds/emmyak96
Summary: Jason Todd x Reader one-shot





	

**Author's Note:**

> You're essentially Batgirl in this story, but you're not Barbara Gordon, you're just yourself, and Barbara is just Oracle, but she's only mentioned so it's not a huge plot point.
> 
> Also in this version Scarecrow never reveals Batman's identity so the Knightfall protocol wasn't needed and Batman is still around.

_Batman was wrong. He'd always been wrong about Joker. There was no madhouse qualified, no prison secure enough. Jason knew that now, after he'd seen tonight-_

_Little arms, little legs, little heads, crudely, mockingly stitched together._

_He'd come straight from the kindergarten, followed a trail of innocent blood back to Arkham Asylum. Tracker switched off. Cowl communications disabled. He was a ghost. Batman wouldn't find him until it was done._

_Weeping parents, fighting over patchwork corpses._

_The sanatorium had been derelict for years. A burnt-out patch of dead earth on top, a forgotten warren of cells below. Good, Jason thought, he's already in the dirt. There was a moral line that Bruce had sworn never to cross. Jason would cross it for him._

_Jason had been watching a grief-stricken mother piece her son together when the kindergarten speaker system came to life._

_No, Robin, he thought. Push it down. Jason pulled back to the heavy iron doors that would have once led into a laundry chute, and dropped into the dark._

_"Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall," Joker sang._

_It was a net, half-way down, that caught him. It broke with his weight, sending him tumbling out of the end of chute onto the granite floor. Jason gritted his teeth breathed through the pa-_

_The first swing of the crowbar took out two teeth. The second broke his ankle._

_"All the king's horses, and all the king's men, couldn't put Humpty together again," Joker was singing._

_-_ The Fall, Gotham City Stories

* * *

 

  _Two_ _Years Ago_

 

The room was small and gray. The only light was the moonlight coming in from cracks between the wooden boards covering up the windows. There were two spotlights that was occasionally used to help Joker see better. He moved us back in here this morning after having us in cells for a few days.

I hung from the ceiling, chains around my wrists, arms aching, while Jason was tied with thick rope to a wheelchair. It had been like this for over a year. Ever since Jason and I were captured by the Joker and his goons at Arkham Asylum, it was torture day after day. Physical, mental, emotional, you name it. He would beat us and leave us bleeding on the floor, starve us, leave us separated in a dark room for days with no contact. Sometimes he would let the inmates beat us as well.

He branded a "J" on Jason's left cheek and made me watch. He didn't even tie Jason up. Joker knew he'd be too weak to fight back. I could see the heat radiating off the brand. The sizzling, the screams. Oh, God, the screaming and the begging. I'll never get that out of my head. I'll never forget the sight of Jason's trying to fight back, but barely being able to grab Joker's arm, or the bright red mark on his cheek that has barely faded to this day. No matter how much I yelled or struggled, I could only watch, I couldn't help it. It was my fault.

Every day I prayed that Batman would find us, but every day my prayers were left unanswered. I didn't even know how Jason would react if Batman showed up. For the past six months Joker has been brainwashing Jason into believing Batman didn't care about us. Joker had pictures of Batman with a new Robin. I tried to reverse it by telling Jason that Joker was lying, but it wasn't much help. I looked over at Jason. His head was down and his shoulders moved up and down with his breath.

"Jason..." I struggled to get my voice above a whisper. I cleared my throat before trying again. "Jason?"

"What?" Jason's voiced was quiet and full of anger.

"You know he's looking for us."

"No, he's not." His voice was monotone.

"He wouldn't leave us like this."

"Yes, he would."

My lip quivered as I held back tears. "Jason, please, he-"

"Doesn't care about us! He doesn't give a shit! If he did, he would've found us a long time ago. He doesn't care about us or this city. How many people have died because he let scum like Joker live? We're in this situation because of him!" His voice frightened me; it was full of hatred and anger. I've never heard him like this before. I was afraid I was losing him.

"Jason..." I wish I could wipe the tears from my face.

"What?" he growled.

"I... I'm sorry... This is my fault. I shouldn't have let this happen." My voice broke a little as I talked through the tears. Jason only grunted in return. "But we're gonna get out of this. I promise. I'm gonna do everything I can to get us out of here, okay?" I paused and took a deep breath. "I love you, Jason."

In the moonlight only half of Jason's face was visible when he turned to look at me. His black eye, his bloody lips, and the scarred "J" were clear. He stared at me, silent. I could see the anger in his eye.

"Please say it back, Jason. Please," I begged. It had been so long since I heard it. When we first got here he would say it constantly, but the more Joker hurt him, the harder he became and stopped saying it. He stopped talking to me in general. He just yelled now, mostly about Batman and his new Robin. I could feel tears forming again. "Please. I just... I need to hear it one more time."

The anger in Jason's eyes turned into pain. "I..."

Without warning, the spotlights turned on and the doors slammed open causing both of us to look towards it.

"Well, I hate to ruin such a tender moment." Joker waltzed in, his smile sickeningly wide. "But there is business to attend to. Oh, boys!" Joker walked over to me as his men carried in a camera on a tripod. "Now, now, there's no need for the tears. Not yet anyway." He tried to wipe them with this fingers, but I jerked my head back.

"Fuck you," I mumbled. Though the red paint always formed a smile, his actual mouth turned down in a grimace and he grabbed my face, squeezing my cheeks, his fingernail digging into my skin.

"Hey! Now I could've killed both of you that night in the asylum, but I didn't. I kept you alive. I gave Batman the chance. Hell, I've given him over a year of chances! And still he hasn't come for you. I've taken care of you for the past year. I think I've earned a little respect." His eyes stared into mine and I'll never be able to comprehend the evil within them.

He let go of my face and I moved my jaw around to stretch it out then spit at him. "Over my dead body."

His grimace slowly grew back into the smile and he gave a low chuckle. "You're not too far off, kid." Joker walked over to Jason and put his hands on either side of the wheelchair arms. "What's up, Jason? How's my favorite Robin?" Jason just stared straight ahead, a mix of defeat, anger, and sadness on his face. "You don't look too happy. It's the wheelchair, isn't it? I know it isn't the comfiest seat, so let's fix that." Joker backed away and three goons walked over. Two untied Jason while the other put a cushioned chair next to him. One of the men picked Jason up and sat him in the chair. The three men left with the wheelchair and Joker began circling Jason. "See? Much better, isn't it? Now, back to business. I want to give Batman a surprise, but I need your help. So! Let's begin." Joker walked over to the camera and picked it up, carrying it over to me. He put it at face-level with me. "And action!"

"Get away from me," I growled.

"Ooh, I love the attitude. Audiences really respond to it." Joker put the camera right in my face.

"Get away!" I tried to lift my legs up to kick him away, but I didn't have the strength.

"Better be careful now. As the cameraman, I'm the one who makes you look nice. And considering your current situation, I've got my work cut out for me." He moved the camera up and down my body. "But that's okay. You're just an extra. My main character is right over there." He swung the camera towards Jason who was slouched forward in the chair, breathing heavily. Joker put the camera back on the tripod. "Alright, just like we rehearsed. Have you got something to tell the nice man, Jason?"

"My name is Jason Todd." His voice was weak and tired.

"Who do you hate?"

Jason paused a moment. "Batman."

"Jason, no..." I whimpered.

"Excellent. Of course you do." Joker walked around the camera and put his face in front of it. "Hear that, Bats? Kid's not yours anymore. He's mine. Mine mine mine. To do with as I wish." Joker walked around Jason, running his hand around his shoulders. "Hey, I never asked. What's the big secret? Who's the big, bad bat? His name. Tell me!"

"Jason, don't! You can't!" I might as well have been talking to myself.

"Of course, sir. It's-"

Gone. One moment he was sitting in a chair, and then he was on the ground. I was expecting slow motion, but instead it was blink-and-you'll-miss-it. I stared at his body, hoping I was hallucinating. 

"Never could stand a tattletale," Joker said as he put his gun back in his jacket and picked up the camera again. He walked towards Jason and zoomed in on him. "That's why I like to work alone. No one to spoil the punchline. You should try it some time. After all..." Joker moved the camera from Jason to me. "...you've seen what happens when you drag your friends into this crazy little game of ours."

"You bastard! I'll kill you! I'll fucking kill you!" All of my rage came out at once. Joker walked over to me, but stayed just far away enough that I couldn't kick him. "You son of a bitch! You're dead, do you hear me? You're fucking dead!"

"Ah ah ah, that's the kind of thinking that got poor Jason to where he is now. But don't worry, you'll get your chance." He pulled a bottle out of his pocket and sprayed it in my face. "Just not today."

I closed my eyes and started coughing before my vision completely faded and everything went black.

 

* * *

 

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

I woke up to the faint noise of a heart monitor. My eyes opened slowly and I realized I was in the Batcave. I tried to sit up, but my head hurt too much and I fell back down onto the table.

"Master Bruce, I believe she's waking up." I recognized Alfred's voice. I turned to my left and saw him standing by the computer. Footsteps came from my other side and when I looked, Bruce was quickly approaching me.

"Thank God. How are you feeling?" Bruce's voice was still tough as it always was, but there was an obvious touch of concern.

"My head hurts and so does everything else," I said quietly. Being tied and hung up for over a year takes a toll on you. "How did I get here?"

Bruce let out a deep sigh before answering. "Joker left you in front of the GCPD yesterday. Gordon found you and called me. You had this taped to your chest." He grabbed something from the shelf next to me and held it up: a video tape.

Everything came rushing back: the camera, the spray, Jason... Bruce was walking over to the Batcomputer to put the DVD in when my heart rate increased causing the heart monitor to get louder and Alfred to take notice.

"Miss (l/n)?"

"Don't watch it!" I tried to get up and run to Bruce, but my muscles were so weak I immediately collapsed to the ground. Bruce and Alfred ran over to me and helped me back up to the table. I grabbed Bruce's arms to steady myself. "Don't... Don't watch it."

"Do you know what's on it?" Bruce sounded worried. I tried to hold back tears, but it was no use.

"It's..." I felt my heart break all over again. "It's Jason..." I could feel Bruce's muscles tense up under my hands. "Please don't watch it. Don't do this to yourself."

Bruce closed his eyes tight for a moment and took a deep breath. "You need to rest. Alfred?"

"Yes, Master Bruce." Alfred went to my IV and twisted the knob to let the medication through. Bruce helped me lay back down before walking away. I could feel the meds kicking in.

"Bruce." He stopped walking when I called his name. My eyes started to droop. "Promise me you won't watch it." Silence. "Promise me." I passed out before he could say anything.

 

* * *

  

I was able to walk and run by myself again after a few weeks of physical therapy. All the training Bruce has put me through throughout the years helped speed up my recovery despite the length I was gone. He still wouldn't let me go on missions with him though so I trained by myself when he was gone.

Bruce was in the Batcave so I decided to bring him some tea to share. He'd been down there for longer than usual. I walked over the bridge from the elevator to the computer.

"Bruce? I brought some tea. What are you work-?" My body froze when I saw the computer screen. It was just static. I turned my attention to Bruce. His head was down, his arms tense, his fists clenched on the desk. I dropped the tray of tea and it echoed throughout the room, covering my shoes with liquid. Bruce turned to face me and there was a pain in his eyes I had never seen before. I couldn't even cry, I was in so much shock.

"You watched it, didn't you?"

 

* * *

 

_Seven Months Ago_  

 

Scarecrow and the Arkham Knight were getting on my last nerve. Their plans were more thought out than I thought they would be. Anytime Batman and I foiled one plan, he had some sort of back-up. I couldn't wait to take these guys down, and now it looked like we had our chance. Gordon had gone after Scarecrow himself. He sent an encrypted message to GCPD through SWAT channels. They couldn't get into it, but it was child's play to us. With the ID number on the radio Gordon used, we were able to track him to an abandoned shopping mall.

After an extremely annoying puzzle involving the Batmobile and some industrial fans, we finally made it down to the tunnels. Unfortunately they were leading us in the wrong direction, so we were gonna follow them while Alfred dug up some schematics. We drove around the construction and jumped over a hole. Out of nowhere, a deafening rumbling shook the ground causing us to stop. We turned to look and saw the Arkham Knight in a massive tank. It had grinders bigger than the Batmobile on all sides. 

"I asked if it came in black, but then I thought, ah, you'd just get all jealous," the Knight taunted. "You didn't think I was gone, did you? No you knew better. You get knocked down, you pick yourself up again. See, I learned that from an old friend." That phrase sounded familiar, but I didn't have time to dwell on it because the Knight, and his giant tank, were headed right for us. We turned back around and floored it.

"Bruce, the Batmobile is no match for that thing. What are we gonna do?"

"Don't worry," Bruce said with his usual confidence. "I've got an idea." Just as he said that we drove through some explosives left behind from the excavation. When the Knight tried to follow us, his tank set the charges off, burying him under rubble. Batman stopped the car and pulled up the schematics Alfred sent. "It looks like there's three more sets of charges. That should be enough to stop him."

"Alright, I'll keep an eye on the sensor for him, you keep an eye on the road." So that's exactly what we did. I pointed Batman through the right tunnels and after the third one there was nothing on the sensor so it looked like we disabled it.

"Sir, I was able to remotely open the door lock! Might I suggest you leave?!" Alfred said urgently.

"Let's go. We have to get to Gordon," I said. We drove to the door only to be met with a dead end on the other side. "Up there." There was a fan we could pull down with the power winch, so that's what we did. Right after it came down, a familiar rumble moved through the ground. We turned around and the Knight was back with his tank, blocking where we just came from.

"No way out. I did it. Cornered you. Done what no-one else could. All these years, all your enemies. But none of them understands you like I do." His voice was filled with arrogance. "You think Crane found Oracle on his own? I'm the one who told him about Barbara. Me! I told you I knew everything about you, didn't I? But don't worry, Bruce. I kept some secrets to myself."

The shock at him knowing would have to wait because if we didn't get out of here now, we were dead. Batman tapped my arm and motioned upwards towards the hole we just made. We looked at each other, nodded and pushed our eject buttons. We landed on the platform above and I looked down at the Batmobile which was now just a pile of metal. I turned to face Batman who was looking up at a ledge.

"Batman, he knows who you are. How?"

"Not now. We need to save Gordon," he replied and grappled up to the ledge. I followed and we got to some vents which were just under Gordon and the militia men. Batman headed to the left side and silently directed me to the right. I positioned myself underneath two men. Two taps through my earpiece signal "go" so I jumped through the vent, taking down the men and immediately attacking three more, one-by-one. They were so surprised that they didn't have time to react. Batman and I had them all down within a few minutes.

"Get me out of here, guys. We need to get Scarecrow," Gordon said once the violence had died down. Batman approached Gordon ahead of me and suddenly I had an arm around my neck and a gun to my head.

"Turn. Around." The Arkham Knight's voice was loud in my ear. Batman slowly turned to face us.

"Who are you?" Batman asked angrily.

"You really have no idea, do you, Bruce?" The Knight put his face right next to mine. "Why don't you take my mask off for me, (f/n)?" My heart stopped. The way he said my name was so familiar. He turned me around sharply, gun still to my head. I put my fingers on the button on the side of his mask and pushed it. I've always heard of the phrase "like you've seen a ghost," I just never thought I'd be experiencing it myself.

"Jason?" My voice came out in a whisper and I stumbled back. "It can't be..." Both Batman and I were silent for a few moments while he circled, gun trained on us.

"What's the matter? At a loss for words? I expected more... I'm hurt."

"I was there. I watched Joker kill you." My eyes still wouldn't believe it. The man I love, the man I watched die, was standing right in front of me.

"I saw the tape Joker sent. You were dead," Batman said in disbelief.

"Don't you dare lie to me!" The way Jason raised his voice brought me back to the asylum. "How long did you wait before replacing me? A month? A week? I trusted you! And you!" Jason turned his anger towards me. "You promise to get us out and then let Joker shoot me. You made it out of there and you didn't come back for me! You said you loved me and you left me to suffer!"

"Jason, please! I suffered too! All this time, thinking you were gone? It killed me inside! You think I didn't want to come find you? Everyday I prayed I would wake up and you'd be there and everyday my heart broke. I loved you, Jason. I still do! Please don't do this." I couldn't hide the pain I was feeling, it was clear in my voice.

"Liar! You left me to die, both of you!"

"That's not what happened." Batman's voice was steady, but angry.

"You always told me, Bruce... focus on what I want to achieve... and it'll happen. Well, you know what I want now, huh?" Jason walked towards Batman and put the gun under his chin. "I want you dead." Before Jason could pull the trigger, Batman hit the gun away and headbutted Jason. We took his few seconds of disorientation to take cover on the lower floor. Jason gathered himself and took out two pistols, shooting to where Batman and I just stood. He looked around, searching for us. "You can't hide from me! I will hunt you down!" He put his two pistols together and made a sniper rifle before grappling up to the gargoyle above Gordon.

We realized one of us needed to be directly underneath him in order to get a hit without him having time to react. Batman went ahead, watching Jason's line of sight, and quickly got under his gargoyle. Batman grappled up and grabbed a hold of Jason's rifle. I heard shouting, but I couldn't make out what was said before Jason fell off and disappeared into a cloud of smoke. A large garage-like door opened and Jason was on a gargoyle at the other end of it.

"You're not the only one with sidekicks!" Jason yelled. Five of his men came in, all armed. They split off, three and two.

"I've got the three, Batman," I said quietly into my earpiece. I made my way over, avoiding Jason's sight, and climbed onto the glass ceiling. Below I could see the three men all walking in a line. Idiots. I waited for the last one to walk under me and I broke through the glass, landing right on top of him before grabbing the other two men and smashing their heads together. Judging by the lack of shouting from the other two, Batman took care of them already. I was closest to Jason, so I made my way over to him, positioning myself under him.

"I can still hear his laugh! He's still in my head!" Jason yelled.

I grappled up and grabbed Jason, trying to hold him down. "Joker got to you. I know what it's like, Jason!"

"Don't pretend to understand!" Jason pulled out a canister and hit the button, leaving red smoke where he once stood. He again appeared on the other side of a garage-like door that opened, and more of his men came out. Batman and I waited til there were out of Jason's sight and took them down easily. Batman went after Jason this time while I took down one last man. I stood behind cover, waiting to see if Batman would need help.

"Stand down, Robin!" I heard Batman shout.

"Don't call me that! It's not who I am!" I turned in time to see Jason use the red smoke again. The shutter door closed suddenly and Batman and I were trapped.

"Batgirl, up there!" Batman pointed to a hole in the shutter and we both grappled through it to the other side. Jason now had men and sentry guns deployed. "I'll get the militia, you disable the sentry guns."

I carefully made my way over to the guns. I studied the area for a minute, analyzing the timing of their rotation and Jason's line of sight. Once I had the timing down, I moved forward behind some boxes and waited for a moment before jumping out and disabling one of the guns. The other gun would be facing me any second so I went forward behind more cover just as the red light passed by. I took this time to get behind it and disable this one as well. Now that they were both down I moved myself under Jason.

"Jason, please don't make me do this!" I yelled out. I saw his scanner light move back and forth rapidly, searching for where my voice came.

"You left me! Both of you! You're the reason I'm like this!" His voice was becoming unsteady.

"I'm sorry, Jason." I took a deep breath and grappled up to him, hitting the gun out of his hand as I landed. He tried to punch me, but I blocked and punched him instead. He stumbled back against the wall and I grabbed his shoulders to keep him there. I took one hand and pulled the Arkham Knight symbol off his chest. "You're Robin, Jason. You're not what he made you! You're  _my_ Robin!" Jason shoved me back and I almost fell off the gargoyle.

"Stop! Stop talking to me!" Jason's voice cracked with rage and he dove at me, sending us both falling to the ground.

We both landed on our backs, but I immediately got up and hovered over him, my fist pulled back. I was ready to block any attack, but it didn't come. Jason put his hands up to protect himself instead. His mask has broken from the fall and I could see his face. His eyes were so sad and filled with pain, he almost looked like he wanted to cry. The "J" on his cheek was still as red as the day he got it. I held back my own tears as best as I could and lowered my fist. I fell to my knees next to him, my head down. Batman walked over to us causing Jason to tense up.

"You did this to me!" He shouted.

"I'm sorry," Batman said, his voice filled with regret.

"You left us to rot in that abandoned wing of Arkham... for over a year... with HIM!" Jason pointed his gun at Batman. "But only (f/n) was worth saving?"

"Jason... He didn't save me, Joker let me go," I said quietly. Jason looked at me, the pain in his eyes getting stronger. "I came back from it, Jason. You can too. We can fix this. Together." I put my hand on the cheek of his mask. Jason lowered his gun and turned his head away from my hand. I let my arm fall into my lap and I stood up. "I still love you, Jason. That won't change."

Batman turned away and I saw Alfred's face pop up on his suit screen. "Alfred. It's... I've found Jason."

"Excuse me, sir. I must've misheard you. For a moment, I thought you said you had found Master Todd," Alfred said, confused.

"You heard right."

"My God! Is he alright?"

Batman and I turned to face Jason again, but he wasn't there.

"No. No, he's not," Batman said and hung up the call. I stared at the ground where he was and tried not to cry.

 

* * *

 

_Present Day_  

 

It's been seven months since the events on Halloween night. All of the criminals were still locked up, crime was lower than ever, and nobody has seen Jason since he stopped Scarecrow from revealing Batman's identity. When Tim found out about Jason it took awhile to convince him that nothing was his fault. He felt responsible since Joker used him against Jason, but he seemed to understand now. Bruce had been doing his playboy thing a lot more often now to keep up appearances, but when he was here it was obvious how he really felt. I knew exactly how because it's how I felt too. Ever since we found him I'd been beating myself up about it, asking myself why I hadn't done more. Each night I hoped Jason would walk through our apartment door and we could be together again, but just like every other time I hoped things like that, it never happened.

It was raining on my drive home from Bruce's. I had visited him for training since there weren't many bad guys to beat up nowadays. I tried to get him to talk, but he wouldn't, though I can't say that I blame him. He spent a lot of time searching for Jason, trying to find anything that would lead us to him, but so far he had turned up nothing. I wasn't holding my breath. Jason knew how to disappear.

I pulled into my parking garage and made my way up to my apartment. Empty, once again. With a sigh I put my bags down on the coffee table and went to take a shower. I turned the water as hot as I could take it to relax my muscles. I'm not sure how long I was in there, but by the time I was done, the hot water had run out. I dried myself off and blow-dried my hair before putting on shorts and one of Jason's old t-shirts. It still smelled like him. I made my way to my bedroom and turned on my lamp. My body froze and my heart stopped when I noticed a folded up piece of paper on my pillow. My mind went into defense mode and I searched around the apartment for anyone or any signs of forced entry, but couldn't find any. The apartment was still empty. I walked back to my bed where I hesitantly picked up the piece of paper and unfolded it. I cried when I read it, but this time these tears weren't so bad.

" _Soon._

_I promise._

_-J_ "


End file.
